What If?
by dave-d
Summary: Naruto's love for Ramen knew no bounds. Could that ever prove a problem for a certain whiteeyed girl?


It was a lovely day.

Hinata couldn't remember a day where the air felt so invigorating, the sun shone so brightly, or the scents of the Hidden leaf village seemed so enticing.

All in all, just the perfect type of day to take her children outside to play. Maybe later. At the moment, they were busy. Smiling, she watched them in their orange and black diapers, sweaters, and jumpsuits. She should head into the kitchen and get things ready. Maybe if she gave Naruto one of 'those' looks, he might take them all on a picnic instead.

"Wamen!" Soba clapped his hands and promptly tripped over his brother.

"_Noodoos!"_ Udon jumped on top of his tangled up siblings.

"**Off!"** Somen did not like being the bottom of the pile.

Naruto had mentioned that it was close to lunch time. That had set the three youngsters off like a chorus of noisy frogs. The three ragamuffins all had blonde hair, blue eyes, and whisker like marks on their cheeks. That was not surprising, given their father. Naturally, she loved them with every ounce of her being, just as she loved the future-Hokage-to-be. Her father may still be a bit miffed that the trio all lacked the Hyuuga blood limit, but she was actually glad that was the case. The memories of her kidnapping as a child still haunted her at times.

"Time for today's lesson!" Naruto stood up front, hands gesticulating in that way of his, a smile on his face and in his eyes. He had turned out to be a great father, part friend and playmate, and a stern authority figure and protector when necessary. Having led a terrible life as an orphan, he would make every effort to see that his childrens' lives were as great as possible.

"Wesson time!" Soba tried to stand closest to his father.

"_Wesson!"_ Somen pushed mightily at his older brother, unable to nudge him out of the way.

"**Let me see!"** Udon tried to crawl under Soba's legs, causing his brother to trap his neck like a vice. "_Owwww-www-ww-w_…"

Hinata smiled. Her children were quite a handful. Not only that, but their names were a never ending source of good humor amongst her friends, and a point of contention with her father and clan. At least the names were better than those of Sasuke and Sakura's three boys, Vengeance, Revenge, and Retribution. Oh. And Lee's children. One boy named Gai. Another son named Guy. And, a third infant named Gi. As Naruto was wont to say, 'at least he didn't name any of them Green, Stretchy, or Suit!'

"Alright, everyone stand at attention!" Naruto hid a smile, watching as the boys tried to comply. "What's our favorite food?"

"**Wamen!"** All three boys answered at once.

"What's the best thing in the entire world?" Naruto winked at Hinata, who valiantly tried to smile. She had known how much he liked noodles; but, too much was too much.

"**_Wamen!"_** The kids' voice grew louder, and climbed a few octaves higher.

"And what do we want Mommy to cook for dinner again tonight?" Naruto licked his lips. He could never have enough ramen.

"**W-A-M-E-N-!"** The concerted shout set the birds outside on the feeder to flight. A number of pedestrians passing by the Uzumaki residence looked at one another and shrugged.

"So… what do you think the topic of today's lesson should be…" Naruto eyed each of his offspring in turn.

"**Jutsus!"** the boys answered in unison again. They were very much like their father, indeed. While they were all too young for ninja training, their father still regaled them with storied, many of which weren't terribly exaggerated. He also made efforts to walk them through the basics of shinobi techniques, just in case one of them might show a peculiar talent at a young and tender age.

Hinata rubbed her eyes. Maybe 'Soba' wasn't so bad after all. For a while there, Naruto had wanted to name his first born 'Rasengan.' He wasn't as obsessed with training and jutsus as he first was. Luckily. She remembered one night, not long after they had become sexually intimate for the first time. He had asked if she wanted him to perform Kage Bunshin, so she wouldn't have to wait until he was ready to go again. Her kaiten had left him bruised in various places.

"Wrong," Naruto proclaimed, shaking his head. "It's 'Ramen'." He missed the way that his wife's shoulders slumped ever so much.

"Yay!" Somen fell backward over Udon.

"_Awight!"_ Udon didn't seem to care.

"**Bitchin!"** Soba's shout had his parents looking at one another. Where had he learned _that?_

"You'll want to hear too, dear." Naruto blew Hinata a kiss. While his affection for noodles was reason for sufferance, his strong love for her could make anything OK. "Ramen is a dish of wheat-based noodles and broth originating in China."

"**China!"** The boys had no idea what or where China was. But, they thought the named sounded cool.

"Oh no…" Hinata had heard this exposition before. It was a memorable day, but not in a good way. It had been one of the first meetings with Hyuuga Hiashi, an important part of protocol leading up to any official petition for engagement. It was a miracle that her father had eventually consented, after being subjected to Naruto's obsession with noodles. "I guess it's better than the lullaby…" In their cribs, not long after each was born, Naruto used to list all of the known varieties of Ramen in sing song fashion.

"Ramen is made from a dough of soda water kneaded into wheat flour. The word 'ramen' supposedly comes from the Chinese characters _la_, meaning 'to stretch out,' and _mian_, meaning 'noodle'." Naruto chuckled. "For me, Ramen means 'bring me another bowl, please'."

"Me too!" Soba grinned.

"_Yeh!"_ Udon clapped his hands.

"**Me too!"** Somen ran to tug on his mother's apron. He was hungry again. She knew which parent her son got that from.

"There are as many varieties of ramen as there are ramen shops," Naruto continued. "The flavor of the diffent dishes is largely determined by the individual cook. In general, though, ramen can be categorized according to three features: thickness of the noodles, type of soup stock, and richness of the soup's flavor. Noodles come in thick, average, and thin sizes. Some common soup stocks include soy sauce, miso, pork marrow, and salt, and flavors range from rich to standard to light. You might say, for example, 'You know the ramen at The Noodle Shop that everyone is talking about? It's the one that has thin noodles in a light pork marrow broth'."

"I would never say that…" Hinata quickly placed a hand over her mouth. Luckily, neither Naruto nor any of the children had heard her. She watched how intently her children were listening to the subject. It was almost frightening. Nothing else could keep the little bundles of energy that still for that long.

"Intant ramen is a different story," Naruto said sagely, striking a Gai-like pose. "It's an important food for young ninjas on the go!"

"Impawtant!" Soba struck a similar pose.

"_Ninjas!"_ Udon tried to imitate a ninjutsu move he had seen his father do once, and ended up flat on his back.

"**G-O-!"** Somen liked that word.

The lecture went into great detail after that. Bit by bit, Hinata felt her eyelids grow heavy, until she slipped into the blissful quiet of sleep.

"Oi! Hinata!" That voice had Hinata snapping to. It was Naruto. Looking around her, she realized that she was sitting on a park bench. She had been waiting for her boyfriend to show up. The two of them had finally started dating, after a certain dense and clueless someone realized how a particular girl felt about him. Of course, much to her chagrin, it had taken the concerted effort of most of the shinobi in Konoha to get him to see the truth.

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata fanned herself with one hand, understanding now that she had been dreaming. No, that might better be classified as a nightmare, even though there were a lot of happy elements there. Something like that could never happen, could it? _Right?_

"How about doing Ramen again!" Naruto shook his frog purse. It was heavy with coin. "We can never get enough Ramen."

Hinata slid off of the seat she had been sitting on.


End file.
